First Yule
by Red the Ordinary
Summary: It's a Yule of firsts for many reasons. Though devastated without Astrid, Hiccup is learning to not only accept, but embrace the way things are. A very short one-shot. Constructive critique is welcome.


**A/N:** Rowan Thorston belongs to me. :3 For anyone who's confused, he's Tuffnut and Astrid's son, and you can find a few of my scribbles of him on dA. C8

Just message me with any questions you have. I planned on elaborating on his backstory in another fic of mine, but that fic hasn't been updated in a while. I'll get on it, I swear! D:

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Hiccup's first Yule without Astrid was proving to be unbearably difficult. He had hoped that one day, they'd be spending that merry time of partying and feasting together as adults, telling their children stories of the Yule Lads and instructing them to keep their shoes in the window to receive gifts from them, as well as decorating their holiday tree together as a small, happy family.

Instead, she wasn't there at all to partake in the festivities, and Hiccup was left to care for her son, who wasn't even his own.

The baby was just weeks shy of turning a year old, and already had a head full of downy blonde hair, sturdy little legs, and his father's mischievous, crooked grin. As Hiccup made himself busy carving runes in the Yule log, he glanced up for a moment to see little red-faced Rowan curiously admiring the holiday tree, which was decorated with many small wooden figures of the gods as well as colorful pieces of clothing. Hiccup smiled as he watched Rowan reach forward to clasp a hand-carved figure of Odin in his little fist, and the baby cooed and murmured to himself as he studied it. He turned around a little while later after getting bored of the tree to come see what Hiccup was working on.

Hiccup had finally finished carving his runes, and felt Rowan place his warm little hands on his knee. He looked down to see the baby's bright, smiling eyes gazing up at him, and though he gave a smile at the sight, he could feel his heart ripping and falling apart.

Those eyes were Astrid's eyes.

Rowan giggled and did a little awkward baby dance when Hiccup smiled at him, and he let out a squeal as he thrust his arms up in the air, motioning for Hiccup to lift him onto his lap. Hiccup responded to the gesture and picked up Rowan, then seated him on his lap and looked into his eyes all over again. Rowan's eyes grew wide and he gave an inquisitive whine, then reached up to finger Hiccup's chin, which was covered in fine red hairs that were supposed to be turning into a beard; however the process was painfully slow and Hiccup was beginning to question whether he'd actually ever grow one or not.

"Rowan, don't… pull," Hiccup pleaded, and took the baby's hand right before it gripped and yanked on those small, sensitive hairs. Rowan only laughed and gave Hiccup a naughty smirk in reply. With a sigh, Hiccup shook his head and stood to his feet. "C'mon, bud. We gotta go find you something to keep you busy."

He bundled Rowan in warm clothing and pulled on a thick wool cloak himself, and stepped outside into the brisk, breath-snatching December air. Rowan loved being outside, no matter what time of year it was, and Hiccup could hear him happily chattering to himself underneath all of the thick winter clothing he was buried in.

_Astrid would have hated to see you so upset during Yuletide,_ he thought to himself as he inhaled a crisp breath of winter air. _She left Rowan with you, so be thankful for him. He's a little bit of her that will never leave you._

He hugged Rowan tighter and felt his heart melting with love for the little boy all over again. The Thorston baby didn't have to be his in order for him to love him like a son. He'd promised to protect that child and raise him the moment he'd discovered him left on the doorstep days after his birth, as an unspoken and sincere promise to Astrid.

He didn't break promises.

Rowan squirmed in Hiccup's arms and whined to get down, so Hiccup lowered him down to the ground and let the baby happily wade through the snow. He struggled to keep up with the child, as his leg usually started bothering him while he was out in the cold, and let Rowan wander several feet ahead as long as he was still in sight.

It was Rowan's first Yule, and seeing candles in the windows of every hut enchanted him. He would slowly walk past houses and gaze up at the flickering lights, sighing in awe, then turn around to face Hiccup, pointing at the lights.

"You like those, huh?" he called to the baby, and Rowan smiled and continued on his way.

_Hiccup, he's happy,_ came another warm, comforting thought; as if Frigg herself was sweetly whispering in his ear. _That alone should console you. His first Yule is exciting and special to him… and it should be the same way for you._

Hiccup finally caught up to Rowan and knelt in the snow in front of him. He grinned and planted a kiss on the baby's warm forehead.

"I love you, little guy," he whispered, watching as Rowan's eyes glistened and sparkled with happiness. The light in his eyes was just as enchanting, awe-inspiring, and heartwarming as the gentle flames dancing in every window.


End file.
